in sickness and in health

today was my first day back at work. well i worked from home but still i began my 8-5 gig again. ahhh…. i miss last week already. even though it was a bit uncomfortable and sore, resting at home for a week was heavenly. i did nothing. nothing for a whole week. i haven’t done that in years. all my time off from work is to go somewhere or do something. but to stay at home, lay in bed, crochet, watch my favorite movies, sleep until i can sleep no more… well it was such a blessing.

an even bigger blessing has been and is my husband. people who know me know that i’m usually not one to gush and fawn over my spouse, but i really have to hand it to him… he’s pretty great. he’s been my biggest support and i couldn’t have gone through this whole ordeal without him. he was with me through all the nights i couldn’t sleep because of the pain, he rubbed my back and held my hair every time i threw-up, he waited with me in the ER until 3AM and then went to work by 7AM, he bought me massive amounts of chicken noodle soup and bagels with strawberry cream cheese. all with no complaint and no grudge. i am so thankful.

yesterday was my sunday back at church after missing a week. missing even one week makes me feel like i haven’t seen my youth kids in forever. i had a lovely time and i loved every chaotic minute of it… reminding me once again what a blessing it is to be able to use my gifts and passions to serve the Lord.

this post is full of random updates because i’m feeling random. but the common thread is: i am so blessed.

post-op

my surgery went well and i am now home resting and recovering. i’ve never had surgery before (except for wisdom teeth removal) and boy is it a process. a lot of paperwork and a lot of prepwork. i must say though, all of the nurses, doctors, and staff at sparrow were soooo nice. my ER experience sucked but the people who treated me were definitely wonderful.

when i first arrived at  outpatient surgery center, i got into my designer hospital gown, answered a whole bunch of questions, signed the release forms, and then had a catheter put into my wrist. that hurt… a lot. and then they pumped my IV with a whole mess of fluids, antibiotics, meds that dry up my mouth and esophagus for the intubation, and finally the anethesia. ahh… anesthesia. the next thing i know, i’m in the recovery room all groggy, nauseous, sore, and gallbladder free.

here are some photos taken from the scope:

the top two pictures show my gb and the bottom two show where it used to be… i think. i’m not quite sure. i guess my gb had some adhesions on it meaning it had stuck to some of the other internal organs. the webbing on the top right picture is an adhesion. it was probably because my gb was irritated and infected and swollen. not too sure about that either. in any case it’s out!

the recovery wasn’t too bad yesterday but i think it was because i was still medicated from the surgery. this morning was another matter. during surgery they pump you up with gas so that there is more room for them to work. afterwards there is still a lot of CO2 in my body and it floats around and gets into your shoulder and under my ribcage causing really sharp pains. my incisions are sore and starting to itch a bit. i had five total, the biggest one at my belly button.

all in all it was a success! my first meal in days was chicken noodle soup with fresh french bread. i don’t really have an appetite right now but i’m looking forward to eating strawberry chex cereal and a bagel with non-fat strawberry cream cheese. i’m also looking forward to this downtime. i will be resting at home for a week and i’m hoping to catch up on some schoolwork, crochet, watch anne of green gables and pride and prejudice and just rest.

in yesterday’s purpose driven life devotional it read:

Are you in a crisis today? Congratulations! You’re about to be changed. You don’t have to stay the same. God is getting ready to make a change in your life.

how funny. God knows me so well. i’m not saying that this ordeal has been fun… not at all. but it has brought to light some serious changes i need to make in my life. once again i am reminded of the joy and freedom knowing that “i am known by God” (j.i. packer).

in memoriam

today we gather here to celebrate the life and mourn the death of… sunnie’s happy foods.

these foods, which have provided sunnie years of much enjoyment and satisfaction, are now placed to rest in the grave of past indulgences.

we are grieved to see them go and can’t imagine a future without them. but alas, we must move on. they would have wanted that for us.

so here they are, in no particular order. good bye happy foods. we will miss you dearly.

• mcdonald’s mcdouble
• chicken nuggets
• french fries
• arby jamoca shake
• gyro special from lou & harry’s
• cakes, cookies, brownies
• taco bell crunchwrap
• indian, thai, korean food
• kimchee fried rice
• chicken strips
• nachos and wings from smokey bones
• pizza
• chips
• cheese… in every flavor, shape, and form
• buttery croissants
• KFC… need i say more
• sushi with wasabi
• tonkatsu
• fried shrimp and everything else at world buffet
• super steak burritos
• ice cream
• chocolate

we remember these friends with fond thoughts. we say goodbye with sorrow in our hearts but with comfort knowing that when one door closes, another door opens with new hopes and dreams.

tomorrow morning i will attend my surgery in black attire to commemorate the passing of the old life and beginning anew.

farewell friends… you all will be dearly missed.

ER: the great equalizer

last night robert and i sat in the ER waiting room for 4 hours. if i wasn’t sick going in, i probably was when i left. that place is FULL OF GERMS! it’s funny how the ER reminds you that you live in an isolated suburban bubble. in the room were the old, young, poor, rich, educated, unedumacated, really sick, mildly sick, and broken. on our right were homeless father and son who reeked of weed, on our left was a wife who brought in her 50-year old husband who had cancer and a stroke and who looked like he was 80. in front of us was a rich mom in designer clothes with her son who broke is arm probably during some sporting event or practice. people from all different walks of life there with a single resolve- to get their hurt fixed.

in the ER waiting room, it doesn’t matter who you are, whether or not you have insurance or money, whether or not you are an upright citizen or a drug pushing gangbuster, the only thing that determines who gets to go through the double doors of salvation to the actual emergency room, is the seriousness of your condition… in relation to everyone else.

as i sat writhing in pain because gallstones were causing my gallbladder to seriously constrict and contract, i realized that oftentimes what i consider to be the worst experience of hurt in my life is often lesser or greater than the pain of others. it just makes me think. everyone has a story.

in any case, so after i went through the double doors, i sat in a hospital gown in my own room, still suffering for another hour until the nurse finally came and gave me a bit of heaven called morphine. in just a few minutes, my body that had been tense with pain for the last 8 hours finally began to relax and i could slowly uncurl myself from the fetal-like position and lay down.

we were there for another 4 hours watching glorious cable while waiting for an ultrasound then for the ultrasound results. it was crazy. right when the ultrasound technician got to my gallbladder, which looked like a black sack, you could see all these shiny white round circles in the sack. they were big! i thought they were going to be tiny but the suckers were huge. no wonder they were causing so much pain.

Ultrasound of my Gallbladder

so at 3AM, a whopping 9 hours after being admitted, robert and i left the ER and went home to our poor dogs who were basically locked up all day. i took a shower and tried to scrub the germs and grime off my body and went to bed. i now have to look forward to surgery to remove my gallbladder. it will probably be a laproscopic procedure meaning they won’t have to open me up all the way. they’ll just use two little holes.

the worst part of all is that without a gallbladder, i will no longer have the mechanism that breaks down fat using bile from the liver. which means i am condemned to a low-fat diet for the rest of my life. which means i cannot eat fried, greasy, salty, or spicy foods… the very things that make my life enjoyable. i asked God to help me be healthier… what do you know… God answers prayers.

thanks to everyone for your care, concern, and prayers. i’ll keep you posted on my “gall”actic adventure… get it? haha.

attack of the gallstones

after about 5 hours of excruciating and totally uncomfortable belly and back pain, i called richard, my doctor brother-in-law, to ask if I had appendicitis and if I should go to the ER. the good news is that i don’t need an appendectomy, but I probably have gallstones. the funny thing is, right after I got off the phone with him i got up to go to the bathroom and the pain suddenly disappeared! I thought it was richard’s magic healing words, but actually the stone must have dislodged.

the next thing I did was go online to webMD… of course… you know, the reliable source, haha. and surely enough there were my symptoms. I proceeded to read every article and page on the topic. it seems that if I continue to have gallstone attacks I will need to get my gallbladder surgically removed. we’ll see how things go after I see my doc.

once again I am reminded how weak and unhealthy I am. ugh. it’s getting kind of scary how many issues I’m having and how many meds I’ve been taking. there’s a plethora of pill bottles an boxes on my kitchen counter.

the thing is, I hate saying that I’m going to start eating better and exercising when most likely I’ll start to but not continue. so… I’m not going to write and say I will. hopefully I’ll just have enough respect for myself to just do it without a need for resolution or fanfare.

I’m feeling a little disappointed with myself these days. I feel like I’m letting precious moments, days, and weeks pass by in apathetic mediocrity. whatever it is that’s bringing me down I need to put a stop to it.

God has blessed me with this time of opportunity, energy, and youth. I don’t want to waste another minute of it. wake up sunnie!! don’t let life pass you by!!